Denisa Neacșu

Colaj 2016

Am imbinat diverse postari online din 2016, fara legatura intre ele.

E clar in teorie: atata vreme cat fericirea noastra depinde de factori externi, avem o stare de bine fluctuanta. Ma intreb insa cum sa echilibram faptul ca suntem aici si traim aceasta viata cu toate experientele ei, cu aceasta stare de neutralitate, de sustragere din ecuatia intamplarilor? Cat sa ramanem in „a fi” si cat sa ramanem in „a trai”? Cum sa simti ca esti in pace si ca traiesti viata la adevarata sa temperatura? Cum sa fii si budist si bucurestean in acelasi timp?
Pornind de la ce mi-a zis un prieten ca a zis Plesu, „mai mult citeaza decat citeste”, am revenit la un gand mai vechi: ce ar fi sa citam mai des oamenii care nu au devenit inca celebri? Iar despre cat citim, cred ca mai mult sau mai putin voluntar citim mult, intrebarea este: ce citim? Asa cum spunea bunica, „foamea este cel mai bun bucatar”. Numai ca atunci cand vine vorba despre foamea de informatii, cred ca avem tulburari alimentare: de la consum compulsiv la anorexie.
Desi ne dorim lucruri, pare ca in adancul sufletului, uneori nu ne asteptam cu adevarat sa le obtinem. Ca fiinte obisnuite cu un univers predictibil, actionam mai degraba conform asteptarilor (ceva este mai probabil sa se intample). In ecuatia asta, dorintele au 2 sanse: fie ne frustreaza pentru ca raman doar la nivel imaginar (deci raman improbabile), fie ne invita sa le trasformam in asteptari. Cu cat suprapunem mai tare asteptarea cu dorinta, cu atat suntem mai congruenti si aliniati si traim in armonie (Sursa de inspiratie)
Reflectam asupra faptului ca inainte de a batatori o cale noua, este nevoie sa avem cateva drumetii pe caile deja trasate de umanitate. Am pornit de la faptul ca Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi spunea ca „memes (un fel de pattern-uri de comportament, gandire, simtire, credinte, preluate din generatie in generatie) must be learnt before they can be changed”. M-am intrebat adesea cand am avut niste experiente in care am fost mai constienta decat inainte: cum se face ca a trebuit sa fiu partasa la hipnoza colectiva pana acum? Pare ca inainte de a reinventa roata trezirii este nevoie sa ne plimbam o vreme cu rotile ruginite ale epocilor trecute.
Cand merg cu metroul ma gandesc la metode de a face viata urbana mai frumoasa. Una dintre idei era ca mesajul vocii de la metrou sa nu se rezume doar la „atentie, se inchid usile!”. Sa fie ceva de genul: „atentie, mai sunt 172 de zile din anul 2016, cum ti le vei petrece?”, sau „atentie, in acest moment 1200 de oameni vii respira in acelasi timp cu tine in acest metrou; cu 70.000 de ani in urma fix atatia oameni populau intrega planeta” sau „atentie, iti petreci in medie 2 ani din intreaga viata calatorind cu metroul, chiar vrei sa iti folosesti timpul asta ca sa te bati pentru scaunul ala liber?”

Pentru directia Diversitate, schimbati magistrala Drumul Taberelor cu Pacii.

Urmeaza statia Piata Iubirii sau Tristor?

Te Bucuri(ca)esti?

Sursa: online

The geometry dance: drama triangle from a different angle

Part 1

I was reflecting during this week on this useful tool that could help us be more conscious about our behavioral patterns, called drama triangle. And I really tried to see it from a different perspective. I hope you will help me to add new meanings to this concept, so feel free to share your thoughts.

So…what do we mean by drama triangle?

The drama triangle is pointed to a victim, it’s direction is downwards and the entire process maintains the status-quo of the world. Without it, any humanistic or ecological campaign would be meaningless, because it won’t be anything left to solve and any tension would be relieved from the world. We would be in Paradise (it seems like Heaven has sacred geometry, not victim geometry). Nevertheless, it seems like this triangle becomes like a never ending circle, because usually the process ends up in the same point, recreating itself. The only difference is that we change a victim with another one. Every time in history has a persecutor that builds a different type of rescuer. But the narrative is the same.

But what are the hidden gifts of this triangle? Why do we need drama in our life?

First of all, because we are humans and we have to play this game called life. The rules are harsh, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but in the end you know that you were a part of it. Otherwise, all of us would live and an ideal world, where we are just observers of another planet’s game. God watching soap operas because he or she misses the human fun. This is the savour of the savior: you can see your qualities and your bravery when a victim offers you this opportunity. I think also that the persecutor is a very generous being, because it is a great courage to take all the blame on yourself and be „the bad guy”. The savior has a very nice-crafted mask, but in the end, he has the same purpose: to take all the power that belongs to the victim. And of course, the victim is the protagonist: all this structure will fall apart if the victim disappears. Imagine a movie without victims. Titanic will be gone forever.

So, thank you drama triangle for all the movies, songs, stories, music, literature, art, that was inspired from your precious and simple shape. Thank you for being a Graal that contains life, with all it’s effervescent conflicts. I will transform you in a glass of champagne and I will drink your bitter-sweet lessons, celebrating the fact that I’m alive.

The most interesting thing of all is that we can also create useful triangles.We can change the game. To understand what I want to explain next, you MUST watch this short video (it’s like an initiation ritual, you can’t move forward without it). How can you create a new mental model?

Creative triangle explained

So, instead of Victim, Rescuer and Persecutor, we can have Survivor, Teacher and Challenger. You can create your own empowering roles and you could replace the initial triangle.

I realized then that I used to play very often the role of the rescuer and I wanted to get rid of that. But wait… the shadow of the Savior has a gift, and that gift manifests itself through my professional role. Psychologist and Savior are not synonymous.

In the end, I ask myself: what if we replace the drama triangle with the Dalai Lama triangle, whose gifts are self-trust, compassion and evolution? Maybe, in the end, we will see our reality like a multifaceted diamond.